So…this is a pretty deep post. See..our adventure semester is almost over. And…I am very very emotional.
I wrote this letter to my girls:
God, I am so lucky to be your Mom. How in the hell God, Jesus and the universe ever trusted me with you will never be understood by me. I credit your father and the love of my life for this. You are my heart I wear on my sleeve, my foot, my head, my everything. You make me a better person every. single. day.
So, I know these months have not always been easy for you. You’re teenagers. You want your friends, your malls, your social time, your gossip, your own life. But, as your mother, these few months have been absolutely priceless. I will never be able to thank your Father enough for giving us all this gift. I have missed him like I am missing a limb, but, being with you both day in and day out…well…it’s worth it.
You both are incredible. You are so different that is totally freaks me out sometimes. I swear I am not worthy of either of you. I am in awe of you going along with me on so many crazy things. Then…not going along with me at all (stubbornness runs in our family). And I get it…I really really do. You have been cursed and blessed with a wild, free spirited, slightly insane mother. But, I promise you…I love you more than any friend, word, boy or anyone ever could. And, I love you without conditions. You are mine. Forever and always. No judgement. Ever. Life is hard and short…and you can always and forever count on me to have your back.
I am not a conventional mom….I get it…I annoy you and I’m so in your business it irritates the crap out of you…but, I don’t care…as hard as it for me sometimes…My #1 job (besides loving you unconditionally) is keeping you safe…and if that means being in your business…get used to it. It’s my job and I relish it. I wasn’t lucky enough to have a mom that had the time be in my business…and I so wish I did..but, it gave me the grace to know what I wanted for my girls.
You both make me so proud to be your mom. I love our crazy goofy times together…whether it’s making up stories on the chair lifts, playing silly made up games while driving across the country, jumping on the trampoline or just laying in my bed laughing uncontrollably! I love how you both are dedicated to what you believe in. I love how you care…even when you want to pretend you don’t.
Of course you both can frustrate the hell out of me too! And, I know I irritate you both. But, that’s life. I have told you both many times that I am not perfect and I sure as hell don’t want to be perfect. I am perfectly imperfect….and I will never expect perfection from you. I expect you to try your hardest, be kind and know right from wrong. I expect you to treat yourselves with respect…and demand that respect from everyone around you. I want you to be strong. I want you to be brave. I want you to think outside the box.
So, as our time here in my heaven comes to a close…I will cherish these memories. I will cherish this time I was gifted with you both. I know when we get back to Atlanta, you both will scatter with friends and fun. And, you MUST do that. You are incredible young women with so much life to live. I will continue to relish watching you both continue to grow. You still have so much to learn and experience. I want you to know, I will always be your safe place to land. I will not judge you. I PROMISE you to continue to try and teach you. I PROMISE you that I will LISTEN….I understand I can’t solve every problem..and I won’t. That is why they are lessons…you have to learn to solve things on your own. But, my arms will always be open, my ears ready to listen and my heart will always hold you close.
With that, my babies…we will bid farewell to this amazing place. (Even though I will be back!!) But, our memories, our fun, our insane craziness will always be with us. I pray that will help keep you afloat in trying times.
I love you. Forever and Always.
**You see a bunch of rocks….I see a bunch of potential”~ it’s all about perspective…..